I don’t think I knew what grief was until recently.
Twelve years ago, when my grandpa passed away, I knew sadness and had regrets that I didn’t get to know him better, but since I didn’t live with him or see him often, it wasn’t as heart breaking. It’s been nearly one and a half month since my grandma passed, but it’s still hard to believe since she was such a big part of our lives. It’s hard to say goodbye.
I lived with her for two years while in school for dental hygiene. I visited her almost every single weekend. We bonded over food. My grandma was the best at Asian comfort foods. Some of which I’m not even sure exists elsewhere. Like this porridge dumpling soup. It’s literally leftover porridge mixed with chives or onions and flour then rolled into balls and cooked again in a soup base.
I’ve been struggling to deal with my emotions, to get back to work, to become inspired again. But it’s been difficult. I could be in the middle of work, and I would suddenly think of my grandma and want to cry. The mere mention of my grandma makes my throat close up and a lump form. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe. I know how dramatic that sounds, but that’s how I feel right now.
Every week, I buy fresh flowers for my grandma. We replace the vases with fresh flowers because she loved plants. Flowers, fruits, and vegetables were some of her favorites to grow.
The past few weeks have been all about family. I’ve been trying to step into the kitchen to create new recipes, but it doesn’t feel the same. What would normally take me just 5 minutes to make and 15 minutes to photograph would take me twice as long, sometimes even more.
But in the next couple of weeks, you’ll see more recipes and more normalcy.
I just wanted to give you a little insight behind the scenes.
Thank you for all your comments and all the stories you’ve shared with me!
Dear Andrea, A very special bond often exists between children and grandparents; I know, I had it with my grandfather. I was terribly sad when he passed away, and it took me awhile to resurface. Still now there are moments that I miss him so, would love for him to be a part of my life; but I assure you that the grief softens with time. I hope that you’ll continue to cherish the closeness you shared with your grandmother. Give yourself time.. blessings and peace.
Thank you so much.
I know the feeling. When a loved one pass away it is always so sad. But think about the joy and happiness that you shared. These are the most memorable.
Thanks, Gigi.
i’m so sorry. hugs to you. maybe cook some of your grandma’s favorite recipes if it helps, but it might make it harder for you. only you will know this. in the meantime, we are all here –
Thank you. *hugs*
Sorry for your loss. It is never easy, and there is no time limit on healing
Thank you.
Thinking of you Andrea and sending you love across the miles. As time goes by the memories of your grandmother will begin to bring you smiles as well, remembering special moments and pieces of grandmotherly advice 💖
Thank you!
So very sorry for your loss Andrea. Having lost my sister and her son recently I do understand your pain, your daily suffering. Please take time to deal with the loss of such an important person in your life.. We’ll be here whenever feel like giving joy to everyone with this wonderful blog…
Oh no. I’m so sorry for your loss, Beth. *hugs*
Sorry for your loss Andrea. My father passed away 4 months ago and I am still struggling to get back to posting on my blog. So I know exactly how you are feeling. Take all the time you need. “When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”
Thanks, Joann! I’m soo sorry for your loss! *hugs*
Sincere condolences for your loss.
Thank you!
A very emotional yet powerful message, but you shouldn’t feel sad about the passing of loved ones, they come back and if destiny intends will once again become your soul mate. Unconditional Love is what your Grand Parents felt for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine what your going through. There isnt anything much I can do for you except for offer a virtual hug and prayers for your grandmother.
Thank you!